Writing - Explanation Feb 2017

Hi people this is my results from my writing test. I know i've should of done better but hey everybody's still learning. I used good Structure and having relevant ideas i had good vocab and making great sentence. Hope like it.

Writing - Explanation Feb 2017

Pt England School

                            

First name	Thaisoni
How old	12
Year	8
Room	Home room: 3
Teacher	Lit - Tele’a

Element	Ideas	Structure	Organisation	Vocabulary	Sentence	Punctuation	Spelling
Rubric Score	4	3	3	4	4	4	5
Moderated

Ideas: ideas are clear and beginning to show complexity (list and explains)

Structure: lacking in clear introduction through to conclusion.  More like list of good ideas

Organisation: lists ideas but lacks grouping of these to be R4

Vocabulary: uses words and phrases to add interest and information

Sentence: similar to exemplar - when I

Punctuation: correct, lacks experimenting with more to be R5

Spelling: No real difficult words attempted

Planning:
Church
School
Rugby club
Reserve



Explanation:

I think School is a special place to go to because we need education in our lives. Without School there is no place to be taught well home is where you learn to. School is a special environment it has all the things you need. School is like a little tiny space of life to learn and have a better future. In school we have teachers. We have them to guide us to the best path and to help us succeed in life. School is an an area which people who like to volunteer to help us. School helps to do the right thing like to be thankful of what we receive it doesn't matter if it’s yuck or yum ,big or small ,or if your teacher is strict and the other teacher isn't. I like school because of the fun and enjoying stuff we do here I like being at the top of a group not at the bottom. Getting a high commendation at school can lead to a neat job in life and a better future.
How far you do and how high you get the chances why you would be there is because of school. Schooling is a better place to be it helps you learn to be responsibil independent and learn many other skills. School would be the safest place to be getting hurt not a problem ,doing well great ,getting in trouble well almost there. School helps you to become more of yourself strengthen your talents become a leader do what you do not what other people do.

It’ not my choice for you to go to school.